Relationship Advice
by Molten-Ashes
Summary: When Wheeljack works on schematics, he goes into an odd trance that allows bots to seek very effective advice on their relationships... Ratchet is amused...


Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers

Please R&R

(Crack, Starring Wheeljack for a change! Enjoy!)

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><p>"So what happened this time?" Wheeljack asked as a familiar black and white saboteur threw himself into the chair opposite the busy engineer in the half empty Rec-Room with a ration of energon. Wheeljack didn't bother looking up as he sketched out some new schematics for an elaborate experiment Ratchet was going to let him try with a 'Rant Free Repair' card if the project went sour. Apparently he earned it after unintentionally blowing up Megatron and his new 'Weapon of Mass Destruction' when he had been trying to find the off switch and accidently hit the reverse button, which had been a really stupid thing to have on a 'Death Ray' of that impressiveness…<p>

So, as he carefully figured out where to place the fuel cell of his latest, apparently mad, creation Jazz: Third in command of the Autobots and Saboteur extraordinaire, began to randomly rant about his current pursued relationship with one uptight, workaholic, everybody knew as Prowl. "Well, I've tried everything." The music lover across from him said, swirling his energon mournfully, "Music, flirting, gifts, flirting… Heck even that kiss under the mistletoe last Christmas party!"

"You said flirting twice." Wheeljack muttered, taking a few notes on another pad as he sketched.

"I tried the two types, subtle and obvious." Jazz said pitifully, taking a sip of his energon as the engineer buried himself in his calculations of a solar powered weapon to imbed in the contraption he was trying to design. "Any ideas 'Jack?"

"Prowl's a blunt mech Jazz." Wheeljack lectured, even as he sped through mind boggling arithmetic which his servo was trying to keep up with, not really paying any attention to the advice he was dishing out. "Don't you remember when he first met Prime?"

"No. I was on a mission, I heard it was funny." Jazz pondered after an ounce of thought, giggling slightly as Wheeljack's legendary goldfish attention span on anything that wasn't his inventions kicked in, the sides of the engineer's helm flickering with blinding rainbows of colour as he muttered, mumbled and cursed his way through his calculations, even while dishing out subconscious relationship advice.

"Prowl told Prime exactly what he was expecting and then proceeded to knock our commander's pride down a few hundred notches by then saying how he didn't add up to those expectations. Ratchet relayed it all to me through the bond. That was what caused me to blow up half the base that orn, I was mixing a volatile mixture of acids that would explode if not mixed with exact measurements, I added a micro-millilitre too much of that Grendel Brew to the concoction of a new grenade when I laughed." Prime's Chief Engineer babbled as he summoned a new page on his data-pad and began to draw out the solar weapon. "So that's why you should just ask him out and not go through all that awkward slag you've been doing."

"Thanks 'Jack." Jazz smiled gulping down his energon and jumping from his seat where a subtle cue had formed for the chair, "I'll go do that now, have fun with that new invention!"

Wheeljack offered him a series of half-sparked goodbyes, only for Jazz's spot to be filled with a frustrated looking Sunstreaker, the engineer beginning his odd advice giving once more. "So what happened this time?"

_**===Later that evening===**_

Ratchet hadn't seen his mate for most of the day. It was both a relief, and an incessant worry. It was only when Jazz wandered by holding a blushing Prowl's servo, followed by seeing the embarrassing situation that Sunstreaker had persuaded Bluestreak into (which included the corridor's closet and a disposable camera with a flash) that he realised what was going on.

Smirking to himself as he passed loved up couples on his way to the Rec-Room, he finally allowed himself to chuckle when he saw Wheeljack puzzling over a complicated section of his design as Mirage ranted and raved to him about Hound's weird habit of dragging every possible creature he found into their quarters.

Ratchet cleared his vents with a firm flush of air and coughed loudly making Wheeljack jump out of his work induced trance with a squeak, the engineer flailing slightly as his chair over balanced, sending the inventor to the floor with a crash. Mirage shuttered his optics in surprise as the inventor groaned, peering over the table rubbing one of his glowing helm fins, "Urgh… what time is it?"

"It's time for the Recharge Shift." Ratchet said smugly as the blue and white noble cursed, activated his invisibility cog and made a dash for his shift, leaving the room empty except for the amused medic and his grumbling mate. "You know… I saw some very interesting results of your relationship advice again."

"What?" Wheeljack asked, looking adorably confused as he often did when something he touched (that wasn't even on) blew up. "I could have sworn it was only two in the afternoon when I started… and what do you mean relationship advice? I thought I fixed that glitch!"

Grinning like a wolf, Ratchet stalked up to his mate and kissed the engineer's lips as Wheeljack retracted it on reflex whenever Ratchet would draw near with that almost foxy expression. "And that was for…?" the engineer asked tilting his helm slightly.

"For not giving me extra work in the medbay today." The red and white medic purred, tracing a line down the Lancia's chest plates with a ruby finger. "Keep this good behaviour up and you might get a present later in the berth…"


End file.
